I've spent the last two years fidgeting, and I think I'm only now realising how damaging it is. It's not about boredom - I have plenty of fun things to do. It's not even just about meaning. It's also (for me anyway) about providing for myself and being in controll of my own life. Welfare sucks at my self esteem like nothing else. The whole system is set up to tell you how worthless and dodgy you are...