ranty, rant, fucking rant, rant.

[maelorin]

I have a personal interest in poverty, particularly 'hidden' poverty in Australia.

Imagine graduating from university with very marketable degrees but finding that no matter what job you applied for, you always came second or third. That despite 'having a lot to offer', nothing is offered to you. For years.

Meanwhile, colleagues have progressed in their careers. Acquired assets, private health insurance, paid for holidays. You have been living on social security benefits and whatever work you can find. Your average annual income barely breaks the tax threshold. Your colleagues have all passed through several tax brackets.

One day you meet up with one of them. They have 'chucked it all in' for the simpler life. They talk about how great it is to have time now to do things, to go places. They ask what you've been up to, having regaled you with stories of the corporate ladder, annual holidays, and mortgage payments.

My former classmates, most of whom considered me to be one of the stars who "would go places", can barely believe that I am poorer now than when we were at uni together.

I'm frustrated and angry that I am unable to 'get on with my life' because I rarely get opportunities. The few I get expect me to compete with others without recognition that I start with a disadvantage. To disclose risks prejudice beacuse people are 'uncomfortable' with difference, to not disclose risks prejudice because they don't know why they're 'uncomfortable'.

Meanwhile, I am left to watch my peers buy homes, cars, clothes, holidays. Sure, they complain about the hours they work, and how stressful it all is.

A few have chosen to back off, to 'downshift' their careers. They revel in the extra time they have now to enjoy the things they have accumulated through working.

I have lots of time on my hands. Time to think, to wonder, to worry, and to hope. And to stress about not having anything meaningful to do all day.

I still want the nice house, the new car, the stuff. But most of all, I want the chance. The chance to be live most everyone else. To be able to pay for things, to be able to answer the question "what do you do?" with something better than "ummm". I want a life, a future.

And frankly, right now, I have no fucking idea what I'm supposed to be hoping for in my future. Our government is planing to "phase out" the aged pension, I have no superannuation or savings, and no way to any, and the only reason my annual income breaks the tax-free threshold is because I manage to luck my way into the occasional short-term, poorly paid 'job'.

This was not the life I expected. Not the life I worked for. Not the life I was told I would have if I went to University.

Right now, I'm angry, I'm depressed, I'm unemployed, I'm lonely, I'm very, very fucking angry. My personal debts are double my annual income, and going up, and I can't see how I can do anything about it. A large chunk of my pitiful 'income' goes into satisfying the well-paid fucks that I'm 'making an effort' to throw my money at them. I can't even cover the interest.

Frankly, I'm getting sick of hearing how well WE'RE ALL DOING. How great 'the economy' is doing.

FUCK 'the economy'.

WHERE'S MY FUCKING LIFE! I WANT MY FUCKING LIFE, YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKERS!