posted by ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
maelorin at 12:03am on 07/05/2004
maelorin at 12:03am on 07/05/2004life.
it has ups. and downs.
i finally figure out how to tap into emotions, and i get a roller-coaster ride. i feel like a teenager all over again ... and it was bad enough the first time round.
i sometimes wonder if i'll ever have lasting happiness.
i have moments, days, of bliss. then weeks of shitty, crappy, what-the-fuck-is-going-on-ness ...
ah. fuck. i probably shouldn't drink when i'm feeling like this.
it has ups. and downs.
i finally figure out how to tap into emotions, and i get a roller-coaster ride. i feel like a teenager all over again ... and it was bad enough the first time round.
i sometimes wonder if i'll ever have lasting happiness.
i have moments, days, of bliss. then weeks of shitty, crappy, what-the-fuck-is-going-on-ness ...
ah. fuck. i probably shouldn't drink when i'm feeling like this.
Delirium featuring Sarah McLachlan
Silence
Give me release
witness me
I am outside
give me peace
Heaven holds a sense of wonder
and I wanted to believe
that I'd get caught up
when the rage in me subsides
In this white wave
I am sinking
in this silence
in this white wave
in this silence
I believe
Passion chokes the flower
'til she cries no more
possessing all the beauty
hungry still for more
Heaven holds a sense of wonder
and I wanted to believe
that I'd get caught up
when the rage in me subsides
I can't help this longing
comfort me
I can't hold it all in
if you won't let me
Heaven holds a sense of wonder
and I wanted to believe
that I'd get caught up
when the rage in me subsides
In this white wave
I am sinking
in this silence
in this white wave
in this silence
I believe
I have seen you
in this white wave
you are silent
you are breathing
in this white wave
I am free
melancholy
(no subject)
I love this song, it's so pretty.
(no subject)
(no subject)
yeah don't drink when you feel like this. especially if you are striving to understand how you feel. drinking mucks that up.
you're a good person. don't be too hard on yourself.
(no subject)
it's a release. just shouldn't go near a keyboard :)
i don't think i'm being hard on myself. rather, i'm trying to find outlets for emotion so i can recognise it, accept it, and let go. the recipie for a healthier, happier me.
i will find someone. i will 'get through' this feeling. it's just some time and some pain that has to come first ... i guess the healing has already started ...