Learn from the mistakes of others

This is a subject that needs more discussion, I think.

The gap between rape and consent
Monika Kruesmann
onlineopinion.com.au posted Thursday, 9 March 2006

"Most of all, what is needed is a consistent, holistic and realistic understanding of what both healthy and unhealthy sexual practices are about, and how to go about achieving the one and avoiding the other. Simple solutions are a superficial cop out. This issue needs to be handled with the sophistication of thought that its complexities deserve. Just saying “no”, just doesn’t cut it."

we probably need to have a 'consistent, holistic and realistic' understanding of most social (let alone psychological) phenomena.

that requires a whole lot more than say, good education. we need that too of course. we also need to start discussing this stuff openly in public. so long as sex and sexuality is a taboo, stupid ideas and nasty attitudes will persist.

this will require a whole-of-society open and visible programme. it has to be more than 'ok' to talk about sex and sexuality. it will require more than being 'able' to talk about it. we probably need to be required to engage in discussion. to be explicitly told what is unacceptable, to discuss where the boundaries are or should be. and to teach each other that being 'able' to open up is not sufficient.

if we cannot talk about sex and sexuality openly in our relationships because we're embarrassed or unsure or too proud or whatever, sexual violence will persist in our society.

at the moment, prudery and the 'moral' rectitude regarding anything to do with these issues is not just a 'barrier' - much of it actively encourages violence of all forms in relationships.